This morning when I was looking at the newsfeeds that my friends had posted on Facebook, I saw that my Scot friend, Robert, was headed to a Scottish Festival. This had me immediately scrambling around the internet for the event he was talking about. I have always heard that Scots games are so much fun to watch, and when I saw the word 'FREE', I was sold. I promptly headed into Jessie's room with a, "So there is a free Scottish Festival going on today in Payson. Just sayin'."
We texted a few friends, and Britni, Aubrey, and Kendra decided to tag along with us. It was so much stinkin' FUN!!! Let me show you what I mean.
We started out at all the booths first, and ran across these little beauts. These are tartans for harlots.
Then, as we were traipsing along, we ran into MY KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR!
What a hottie. After that we headed over to the athletic events in the north field. We saw some very interesting games over there. First was the pick-up-a-sack-with-a-pitchfork-and-toss-it-over-a-tall-pole-that-they-would-raise-each-round-until-no-one-could-pitch-it-any-higher-game.
Yeah. Then we ran into the I'm-a-hottie-and-I-can-throw-a-hammer-really-far competition in which we found my Scots-Hottie. He was quite a looker. He shows up again and I got a closer look. Just be patient, I'll get to him!
Then there was the My-rock-is-the-biggest-and-I-can-toss-it-the-farthest-RAWR! competition which this Scot is demonstrating. Oh yeah, please forgive the braided lady in front. It was crowded!
Ahhh! Manly men. Only REAL men run around throwing rocks in skirts.
We decided we were getting a bit hungry, so we headed to the food tents. Fish & Chips, you say? DONE! Jess and the girls grabbed the grub while I sat in an endless line to get homemade root beer and cream soda. But it was worth it!
Hearing the constant wail of the bagpipes from the pipe and drum competition, we all thought it would be fun to watch the groups compete and eat our food.
It was as we were swiggin' said root beer & cream soda, and chowin' on 'dem fish & chips, that we witnessed a child throwing up over the side of his stroller. I'm sorry, did I say 'throwing up'? I mean,
throwing up like a fire hose was turned on! The poor kid just kept going, and his parents promptly left. Our appetites gone, half our food uneaten, we sat and tried to enjoy the rest of the pipe and drum competition. Oh, did I say 'enjoy'? Whoops. I meant we were
chastised by one of the drummers and were told we needed to move. It wasn't as bad as I'm making it sound. We all got a pretty good laugh out of it. Even one of the judges was yukking it up with us. The girl got over her drama, and we watched a few more bands play.
At that point, Aubrey found us, and mentioned that she had been watching the log-throwing competition in the athletic fields. All of us pitched the rest of our lunches, and we hurried to the field. Only to find the guys had ended that competition, and had started this one:
I don't know if you can see it, but they are throwing a Budweiser keg over the same pole that the pitchfork guys were using. The guy on the left threw the keg 28 feet into the air and CLEARED THE POLE! Crazy, huh? It's also where this little guy
came right in front of us, pulled down his pants, and narrowly missed us as he peed. In public. Simply astonishing. After he made sure he got all of it out, we had a kid sit behind us, hack a loogie in his mouth, pull it out, look at it, and then put it back in his mouth. Not a good day for us to be encouraged to be mothers and have kids. Not good. Oh, and we got an eyeful of this beaut:
Yup. You're welcome! That is the Scottish flag on the back of a bald head. I love it!
The good part of going back to the athletic competitions is that I got a closer look at Scots-Hottie. Yeah, we were all paying him more attention than the events.
He's the one in the back. Woo hoo! He took some sort of prize for the hammer. I would have given him a medal for being a hottie in a skirt.
The afternoon ended (you're ALMOST done reading this blog post/novel! Yeah! Good job for stickin' with it!) with us watching the closing ceremonies. All the pipe and drum bands joined together for a rousing rendition of Scotland the Brave. Check out the chicks twirling their sticks and the overzealous bass drum guy. He was keepin' that beat!
Swimming with Ashley, Jessie, Braden, and Addie in the morning, and an amazing Scottish Festival in the afternoon. What a GREAT day!!!
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